Eating Disorders - Does My Anorexic Daughter Need to Leave College and Come Home?

If your daughter is away at college and has an eating disorder, you have every reason to be concerned. You also have every right to intervene if you feel it is necessary for her to be closer to home. She may not agree, but you have to do what you feel is best for her and her health.

Here are three indications she may need to come home or attend a college closer to home:

1) She is engaged in treatment and after several months is showing no signs of improvement or continues to regress further into eating disorder behavior.

2) Other people like her college friends are starting to contact you because they are so concerned.

3) You, your daughter and her treatment team have set a date where a certain amount of measurable progress must be made. That date arrives and she has not been able to meet her goals.

Let's define some the terms; "a few months" and "progress." A few months can be 3 months or it can be 6 months, depending upon her health. It can mean one month if her doctor says she is in physical danger.

What does progress look like? Keep in mind the eating disorder has your daughter trapped and beaten down and will not give up easily. You cannot measure progress only in terms of weight gain. Just because she is only maintaining her weight or is not gaining weight does not automatically mean she is stuck and needs to come home.

You have to evaluate issues on multiple levels and consider every aspect of your daughter's personhood. Most likely you cannot answer these questions without feedback from those involved with her care.

Here are some examples in considering her overall personhood:

- Her relationships - Is she still isolating? Is she opening up a bit more with you about the eating disorder behavior and what is going on inside of her?

- Her mood - Has her anxiety or depression decreased since she began therapy?

- Her mental state - Does she seem any less obsessed with food, calories, weight, etc? Is she more able to concentrate on school because the eating disorder is loosening its grip on her mind?

- Her interests - Is she allowing things back into her life that she abandoned because the eating disorder consumed all of her time and energy?

Two more things to consider before making this decision are:

1) Has she made enough progress that her removal from the treatment team she knows and trusts would be more detrimental than helpful?

2) Is she physically and emotionally healthy enough to remain where she is, without more support from you?

Parents are often forced to abdicate total care of their daughters to professionals. I'm not slamming professionals, I am one. I want to give you permission as her parent, the one who knows her best, to get as involved as possible in her recovery. The amount of involvement depends upon what you, your daughter, the school and her treatment team can agree on and negotiate.

All I'm saying is you don't have to sit back and watch if your daughter is battling an eating disorder. Advocate for yourselves and for her. She may resist at first, but she needs you. She may need you differently than if she were still an adolescent living at home, but she still needs you.

Autor: Lynn A Moore

Do you want to learn more about eating disorders? If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here: http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html.

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will guide you through the treacherous waters of deciding what kind of help you need and what you, the parents need to do and can do to help your child.

Added: December 5, 2009
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/