Eating Disorders - How Do I Help My Anorexic Daughter If She is in College?

Distance obviously makes a difference in how much you can support your anorexic or bulimic daughter when she is in college. If she is in close proximity, you can be more available for support and more involved depending upon her willingness to have you participate in treatment. If she is hundreds of miles away it is much more difficult as you are well aware.

Neither situation is easy, and both require your daughters willingness to share information. No matter which situation you are in, I would ask your daughter if she would be willing to sign a Release of Information for the treatment team who is working with her. This would allow them to share important information with you, especially in regard to her health.

You can explain to her that this does not allow you to ask detailed questions about what she is talking about in therapy. Also that she can tell her therapist what information she does and does not want shared. The goal is only to have open communication when necessary between you and those who are helping your daughter.

If she is not progressing or is even regressing at school, you may have to step in and work with the school and her treatment team to assist in her transition home. You do not have to wait until your daughter is in the deepest hole with her eating disordered behavior to intervene. You may decide she needs to come home before others involved in her care believe it is necessary.

I am not saying coming home is always the answer, but it is not uncommon for parents to require their daughter to attend college closer to home until she is well on her way to recovery. The more communication you can have with her treatment team, the more assistance you can have as you decide whether or not this is necessary.

Your daughter obviously has a say, but due to the illness she may not be in the best position to be objective about this. You have to do what you believe is best for her even if she is not happy with your decision.

The reality is if your daughter had another serious illness, she would most likely come home to be treated so you could care for her. An eating disorder is no different and you should not be afraid to consider this even though you know it will meet with opposition. Remember she is your daughter and you know her best. You are her best advocate whether she realizes this or not.

There are times when girls are not ready to be out on their own, at least not far from home. They don't know it and probably won't admit it, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. You have to do what you believe is best for her and her health.

Ideally, depending upon how open your daughter is with you about her illness and progress, you can go to her first and request increased involvement. Often girls are scared to have parental involvement, but are also relieved when the gap is bridged between you and her treatment team.

If she is unwilling or unable for a reason you don't understand, to allow you into the process, contact the school and/or her treatment team. Her therapist may not be able to tell you anything without a Release of Information, but can still listen to what you have to say.

Autor: Lynn A Moore

Do you want to learn more about eating disorders?

If so, download my free e-book "Eating Disorder Basics for Parents" here http://www.why-my-daughter.com/edb.html

Lynn Moore educates, coaches, and consults parents on how to help their adolescent with eating disorder behavior. She will guide you through the treacherous waters of deciding what kind of help you need and what you, the parents need to do and can do to help your child.

Added: December 11, 2009
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/